Senior Java developer, one of the top stackoverflow users, fluent with Java and Java technology stacks - Spring, JPA, JavaEE. Founder and creator of http://computoser.com and http://welshare.com . Worked on Ericsson projects, Bulgarian e-government projects and large scale recruitment platforms. Member of the jury of the International Olympiad in Linguistics and the Program committee of the North American Computational Linguistics Olympiad. Bozhidar is a DZone MVB and is not an employee of DZone and has posted 87 posts at DZone. You can read more from them at their website. View Full User Profile

Corny Programming Jokes

04.06.2012
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Many of these programmer jokes are aimed at Java developers.

- What are you doing on this bench with a bank slip and a marker?
- Benchmarking our transactions.

 

What’s “on” on Earth? The air conditional.

 

 

What do communists and functional programmers have in common? They hate classes.

 

 

“You shall not pass by reference”, said Gandalf to James Gosling.

 

 

I’ll create a programming language named obl. That way, when using a for-loop, I will be obl-iterating.

 

 

Why are “i”, “j” and “k” the most used letters for loop variables? Ask Dijkstra.

 

 

What’s common about basements and maven repositories? They hold jars.

 

 

I’ve written a movie about insects. Here’s the Ant script.

 

- What are you doing with this bucket of paint at the construction site?
- Making the build green.

 

 

Write string concatenation in PHP on the dotted line.

 

 

A garbage collector joined Men in Black to help them with erasing memory.

 

I asked the Oracle what is my future, and it responded with ORA-27102: out of memory

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Comments

Nitin Tripathi replied on Sat, 2012/04/07 - 2:37am

What happens when a boy eloping with his girl-friend is caught red-handed by the girl's father -- RuntimeException 

Todd Sproule replied on Fri, 2012/07/20 - 9:02am

How do Java developers cut their hair?  E-clipse.

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