Calling the Java Renaissance
Ah, Wired. Found this article, ironically through Twitter, this morning. Hipsters seem to think being tuned in is the most important thing in the world, and yet so often they sound like the dude who just fell off the turnip truck. Note the description here: Clinton Era Relic. Um, do these idiots realize that Linux hails from the Nixon Administration?? The US had half a million troops in Vietnam when Unix was invented. As Nietzsche points out, the great thing about having a bad memory is you can take joy in rediscovering the same things over and over again. I tend to see it as a perverted, ADHD-addled version of Baba Ram Dass, but…
In the article, they quote Bob Lee as predicting a Java Renaissance a few years ago. Ok, just to be straight: some of us were predicting that its death was not even a premature call, but rather a mere fantasy, projected out of infantile anger that was never really about Java, was always about the enemy of all thinking: complexity. Some people deal with it by going ape trying to engineer solvents that will mold it, bring it into solution, others have little spitting, spastic fits, like the 6 year old who got jacked on 64 ounces of soda and had a sugar blackout (on his/her way to a pickled liver ). All those things that were projected on to Java have, surprise, shown up in every one of the ‘alternatives‘: Rails? which? 2? 3? Rails isn‘t cool anymore. Lots of Ruby projects don‘t even use it, having moved on to half-assed assemblies of Moustache and Backbone, etc. Node? Wow, so simple you can build a site in a day. Now, you can spend a week considering all the different flavors of node and its little friends. Meanwhile, Java has achieved some amount of simplification, albeit after an amount of time that should have been enough to make the government efficient.
There is no Renaissance because Java never really went away. The apocryphal story in the article is a typical one: happened at MySpace, Facebook. One of the things I love about this is we keep seeing it, and yet the fresh-faced recruits keep filing in saying ‘no sir, I am not interested in being an officer: I would like to go in one of the floatation devices and be the first to die on the beach, long before we ever see any fruits of our labors…‘ Um, ok. Fodder used to be a harder sell (but then the Army didn‘t have Red Bull and Foosball tables….)
If an electrician comes out to your house and installs a bunch of wire that clearly will catch fire when the stated load right on the box is applied, I‘m thinking that dude is perhaps libel.
That‘s the great thing about tech hipsterdom: any dopey claim can be made, and anecdotal stupidity applied, and when the outcome takes, rather the path of water down a hill, the troupe of pantomiming philistines can just move to the next phantasm and work up another fake dander.
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