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Behold! The Battle for Java Earth (Updated)

11.04.2010
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The geeks here at DZone (I count myself among them) were discussing the recent round of heat that Oracle has been taking in the press and the blogosphere. Then we imagined a world of fantasy where similar struggles were taking place.  This is the Realm of Java Earth:


Designed by Ryan Little 

The Cast


LPoD: Larry Prince of Darkness  (aka. Larry Elli-Sauron)
With his army of Orc-acles (and massive funds) he conquered the lands once held by Sun Mithrilsystems and acquired the all-powerful Ring of Java.  Some people of Java Earth think that Larry Elli-Sauron and his Orc-acles are misusing the Ring of Java, which was forged with the intention of giving its awesome power freely to all the lands of Java Earth.  Many Java Devs of the Shire are not concerned about the wrangling of far away kingdoms, but a strong number of others are forming an alliance against the lands of Redwood Shoredor. 

Gosling the Grey
He is a guide for the Java Devs of the Shire and he understands the dark ways of large, greedy kingdoms better than any other.  After bestowing his magic on the Ring of Java when it was forged at Sun Mithrilsystems, he chose exile from their lands when they were conquered by Orc-acles.  Now it is Gosling the Grey's mission to warn the Java Devs of the Shire about the dangers that Orc-acles bring to the entire Realm of Java Earth.

Minas Googleplex
Soon after the Orc-acles conquered Sun Mithrilsystems, Larry Elli-Sauron used the Ring of Java to invade the lands of Mountain Viewdor and the city of Minas Googleplex.  Several kingdoms of Java Earth were outraged by this unprovoked aggression.  Many have thrown their support behind the Googlers of Mountain Viewdor.  The riders of Apache-han also have issues with the Orc-acles because they do not acknowledge the legitimacy of Queen Harmony.  However, Queen Harmony says she has no connection to the current war between the Orc-acles and Mountain Viewdor
                                                 

                                 Colebourne Baggins                                                                        Queen Harmony                                                                                                                                             Scot A. Harvest
Java Devs of the Shire

Several leaders have emerged among the Java Devs of the Shire who are in favor of the alliance against Orc-acles (the AAO).  They tell tales about the evils of the Orc-acles and their plan to subvert the JCP union.  Other Java Devs, and the Chief of the Eclipse Plains, believe the JCP will be fine.  Colebourne Baggins has been one of the loudest critics of the Orc-acles and he has gathered a fellowship of Java Devs to set off on a journey and release the Ring of Java's power for every kingdom and save the JCP union.  The Java Devs have already slain the Hologic dragon, a potential ally of the Orc-acles.

You can help the Java Devs on their journey to Redwood Shoredor by telling us your own tales about the Realm of Java Earth in the comments.  Watch as the Duke moves closer to Redwood Shoredor as more lore is posted.

Update: 

More lore has emerged about the Prince of Darkness that is Larry.  Former King of Sun Mithrilsystems, Sir McNealy, has levied some criticisms against the Dark Lord, but also admits that Elli-Sauron has great skills as a conqueror.
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Comments

Jacek Furmankiewicz replied on Thu, 2010/11/04 - 8:16am

Have you been doing this on company time? Does your boss know about this? :-)

Mitch Pronschinske replied on Thu, 2010/11/04 - 8:59am

@Jacek

Actually, he helped us do this!  :D


Here's lore from the JCP elder's council vote.    DZone   The Register   Now the Duke will move closer.

Rick Ross replied on Thu, 2010/11/04 - 9:13am

Hilarious! I assume this is a work-in-progress in which the myth can be extended to include knowledge shared by others in Java Earth? Hopefully, with the help of all the good creatures, we can get the whole story worked out.

Rick Ross replied on Thu, 2010/11/04 - 9:16am in response to: Jacek Furmankiewicz

Indeed, I did know they were working on it, but I didn't know it had come along quite this far. I love it!

Mike Miller replied on Thu, 2010/11/04 - 9:36am

Very funny - keep up the good work!

Mitch Pronschinske replied on Thu, 2010/11/04 - 12:31pm

Look!  The Duke moved!  His Journey has begun!

Ran Biron replied on Thu, 2010/11/04 - 1:11pm

How could you miss the "one runtime to unite them (platforms) all"?

Karl Peterbauer replied on Thu, 2010/11/04 - 1:35pm

The Quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little, and it will fail, to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while the Company is true. (Galadriel)

Loren Kratzke replied on Thu, 2010/11/04 - 2:27pm

This is good stuff. Keep up the good work.

RIchard replied on Thu, 2010/11/04 - 11:46pm

The only thing that prevents me from leaving Java is the GPL. If Elli-Sauron had Java from day one, it simply wouldn't be. They're involved in something they're not going to get six sigma alignment with. It's an odd fit to be sure, and it's become apparent that Elli-Sauron intends to crush any newcomers with an army of toxic patent trolls. Isn't it funny how he and others once lamented software patents? Then they realized that they could lock and tax their industry. After all, they had already built huge businesses without being encumbered by endless hordes of multi billion dollar litigation, all the darkest of magics, and the sinister craft of the Letches dwelling in the shadows, filling appeals, knowing it's a battle of attrition, that they can out spend their forlorn opponents. Forever the darkness deepens in the land that has no Sun.

Jihed Amine replied on Fri, 2010/11/05 - 9:01am

Funny :) It shows that human nature remained unchanged, be it in 2000 BC, in 2010 in mythology or in science fiction, it's all about domination, conquests, betrayals, abuse of power, etc. I like the "Forever the darkness deepens in the land that has no Sun." from the previous comment !

Marcus Smith replied on Fri, 2010/11/05 - 9:39am

A snippet from the Inn of the Prancing Foney .... Marvin the Builder, keeper of the Tomes of Code, son of the plains of Apache-Han, and his son Pom sat contemplating the the deal they had just struck with Elli-Sauron and his Orc-acles to provide, from the great repository of Mav, resources which would help Elli-Sauron after the slaying of the Hologic dragon.
"Do you think it wise to provide Elli-Sauron with Source as well?" asked the young Pom
"Wise or not is not for me to say, they ask I provide!" replied the bloated Marvin "If the Java Devs from the AAO require the same resources for their quest I will happily provide for them to"
"Does it not bother you? Providing for both?"
"Not in least - I'm impartial as you well know. Do not dwell on it - once we structure your life, you won't much mind either. Ah here come's my old friend Javaos-x - still trying to pass yourself off as a Java-ite Javaos?"
"Ahh plug it Marvin! I've been sent by St. Jobs to provide the Java Devs with some assistance, being the closest thing to a cousin they have in this neck of the woods. You seen them?"
"Not yet - but me and Pom here are waiting for their call, we have a ripe set of new resources for them"
"Well if you see them I'm staying at the Mac-a-Pad Inn on the other side of town, let them know" Javaos-x said as he walked off.
"Nice chap Javaos although a little flakey and prone to be a little independent, still might pay to pass along the message"
..... tbc .....

Mitch Pronschinske replied on Fri, 2010/11/05 - 11:26am

Whoa!  The Duke moved a lot that time!

Mitch Pronschinske replied on Mon, 2010/11/08 - 9:23am

His journey to Redwood Shoredor is complete!

Rick Siskey replied on Thu, 2011/10/27 - 12:12am

Cool!!!If your boss helped you do this, then he is indeed very supportive to whatever artistic endeavors his employee has. Wish I had a boss like him. - Rick Siskey

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